It's hard to believe that it has been 20 years…and about to be 21. I never would have guessed that the decision that I committed to 20 years ago would change my life forever…It all started when I walked into the home of Jennifer Kuhn, the summer of 1990. Jen, the second daughter of Dale and Joyce Kuhn, was standing in the kitchen. When our eyes met, I was a goner and I didn't stand a chance…Not only was Jen the most beautiful thing I have ever seen…but God showed me that she was the “One” that He has been preparing for me for years.

It took a few years to convince her family that I was not a psycho, child stealing, mass murderer…but the time that it took to win them over was worth it. Now as a dad myself – I see more clearly why they were concerned.

July 25, 1992 – Jennifer D. Kuhn joined me in a ceremony in front of God and our family and friends. In this ceremony, we vowed—(committed) to God and before our friends. I this ceremony, we vowed –(committed) to God and before our friends that we would: “To have and to hold from this day forward –(until death), for better for worse –(No matter what the situation that we find ourselves in-we will stick it out). For richer –(haven't experienced this yet) for poorer. In sickness –(been here and Jen came through for me over and over) and in health. To love and cherish, TILL DEATH DO US PART! I love the ladies part where Jen said that she would Honor and Obey, even though I have had to remind her of this…

Proverbs 18:22 tells us-“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” I found the “One” that God brought into my life, and I received Great Favor from God. I am very thankful for Jen and I will be faithful to the commitment that I made to her.

Today's world is so different. Living together is the norm, rather than doing things God's way. This compromise has made its way into the church and it has become an acceptable practice. Acceptable to the church, but do you think that God accepts it as being ok? What are we saying to the younger ones watching us? Is it ok to “try” each other out, before you make a commitment to marry? If we are being disobedient to God in this area, then how can we expect God to bless us?

I believe that God is calling His church to a higher standard. A standard that says I will do what the Bible says, no matter what it my cost me. I will surrender my will to HIS! I will die to myself and what I want…and follow what God shows me. Do you want to have a healthy relationship? The real question that only you can answer is this: “Do you really want what God has for you?” We live in a world where commitments are discarded easily. My fear is that our commitments to Jesus will be no different.

Jen and I have counseled many couple over the years. Some have made it through their “worse” and are now in a healthier relationship, and some have not. What I have found out by experience is being in a relationship requires constant attention. The moments I become lazy, are the times we have struggled. The times that I have been selfish are the times that my family has suffered. God has called me to love Jen like He loves His church-(Eph. 5:25). I know this is true, even when I don't always live up to it…

So I want to use this remaining space to say this to you. I love my wife and I want to honor her today, she stayed, when it would have been easier to leave. When I treated her poorly, while I was battling depression – she stayed. God has used her to be the voice of truth to me on a regular basis. There are not enough words or time for me to express what she means to me. Thinking about our life together so far, I wouldn't change anything. Because what we went through made is who we are today!

Husbands – love your wives. Let them know that they are a precious gift. Man-up and follow through on the commitment that you made before God. Love her like Jesus loves His church… Wives – hang in there. After 20 years, Jen is finally seeing the “fruit” of her hard work grooming me. Love your husbands unconditionally. Be the help-mate that God called you to be.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY JEN…these 20 years have been the best years of my life! God knew that I needed you, and I am forever thankful…

God Bless Marriages today…may they find what they need in YOU!

Pastor Ray